06 Apr Falling in Love (Beware of the Myths)
It happens to all of us, one day we see the opposite sex and our heart beats faster. We can’t explain it but it is a feeling like no other we have experienced. People call it love. Some call it infatuation or a crush. Whatever you call it, it drives us crazy!
Here are some myths (a popular world view that is believed and accepted by many) that I want us to expose, uncover and discredit with the truth.
MYTH 1: FALLING IN LOVE CONQUERS ALL In a way, this is a truth but I need to warn you. When it comes to the person you are “head over heels” with, it is dangerous when you overlook all their character traits and continue your relationship hoping that your “love” will change them.
You often stop listening to your friends’ and family’s advice because you can’t see past your “rose colored” glasses. Love is indeed “blind” this time. If he flirts with other women, loves to party and get drunk with his friends after he drops you off from your date, still keeps in touch with his ex and has frequent outbursts of anger – beware. If she is filled with jealousy, is over controlling, constantly spends for non-essentials, plus neither he or she is committed to God, don’t think putting a ring on his/her finger will change him or her. Wake up and “smell the roses” before it’s too late!
Truth: Your “feelings” of love will not last when he/she exposes their true self. You cannot change anyone. Only God can. You must hold off any plans of being permanent until God transforms his/her heart. Remember also that no one is perfect, but why settle with someone with too many inconsistencies?
MYTH 2: FALLING IN LOVE KEEPS YOU BOTH LOYAL
For as long as blood runs through your veins and your heart beats, you will always be attracted to other men or women out there. Don’t panic, this is normal.
As boyfriend/girlfriend we always give our best impression and act our finest to keep him/her from being distracted to others. This is what people call, “putting your best foot forward.” I say, “what about the rest of your body?” Even if you are in a blissful relationship, it is so easy to fall for the next attractive person out there. One day soon your spouse will let their guard down and you will discover the “real” him/her with all their flaws, quirks, smells, and irritating habits.
Truth: Our eyes will often wander and wonder. It is only when we focus on the gift that God has given us will we be loyal and faithful.
MYTH 3 : FALLING IN LOVE LASTS FOREVER
If only marriages would be, “And they lived happily ever after.” Sorry to burst your “wishful” bubble, but in reality, it hardly works like that. Most marriages are enduring rather than enjoying.
Of course you think your boyfriend or girlfriend is a “dream come true.” Sure, but wait till you wake up after the honeymoon night. Of course I’m exaggerating but seriously, falling in love may cause you to fall out of love.
Truth: Falling in Love is not True Love. When two individuals from different backgrounds and upbringing come together in marriage, there is bound to be conflict, debate, and disagreements.
God needs to be in the center of a marriage for True Love to last forever. He keeps you humble, kind, unselfish, thoughtful, gracious and so much more to please your life partner.
Stay away from falling in love. The reason I say this is because when you fall in love it is something that just happens without any intention, effort or plan. True Love is when you make daily godly decisions. It is an act of your will in submission to God and takes a lot of hard work with faith and trust in God.
The Bible clearly admonishes us that Love is a command. You must choose to take action to love.True Love is not based on feelings but based on a godly commitment. This brings forth a blessed godly marriage.
By Pastor Joby & Cindy Soriano