Before I came to know Christ, I thought I had the perfect life. I had a thriving business and was earning close to a million pesos a month. I wore signature clothes, shoes, and half-a-million-peso watches. I drove around in a multi-million-peso sports car. I had a big house and powerful, well-connected friends. Women and parties were my nightly fare. I was convinced that I had it made, and the best was still to come. I was the envy of most people and to top it all off, I was single and available.
Money and power were the basis of my security. Behind all the fun, I was very rude, violent, abusive, and self-centered. I felt powerful, fearless, and invincible. I intentionally hurt other people including, my own family. I would beat up my brothers, my closest friends, or anyone who crossed me. Criminal charges of serious physical injury and frustrated homicide have been filed against me several times.
I was a very abusive son and disrespected my parents; I never honored them. I played around with women’s feelings and slept around with women who were single, in a relationship, married, or even half my age. I just did not care.
In January 2004 my best friend introduced me to his girlfriend, a famous actress. She was beautiful, and I wanted her. I made my move and didn’t care about hurting my best friend. I ended up having a relationship with her, doing things behind my best friend’s back and enjoying it. We all got hooked on ecstasy, marijuana, cocaine, etc. and would spend ₱50 to ₱100 thousand every night on drugs.
My life was all about money, power, prestige, drugs, women, and sex. Like I said, I thought that the best was yet to come.
In February 2005, my best friend and my other so-called friends took revenge on me. He wiped out of all my savings — about ₱40M — and my house, cars, business, etc. I lost everything to him. Worst of all, he hired people to kill me while I was at the airport, escaping to the US. His threats to kill me and his ex-girlfriend continued even when we were already in the US, and my only consolation was that I still had the girl with me. But when the threats on her life and her family would not stop, she left me. Reality set in.
I was left with almost nothing. I was in the US but had nowhere to stay and could not go back home for fear of being killed. I felt hopeless, abandoned, and full of regret.
Everything came out on primetime television and in the newspapers, but I was portrayed as having stolen millions from my best friend and those who wanted me dead. I became angry and wanted my revenge! So, for ₱20,000, I took out a contract to have my best friend’s entire family killed. The killers were just waiting for my go signal. I was very confused and angry and even tried twice to commit suicide. But in my time of hopelessness, God was there.
A Filipino Christian family opened up their home to me and converted their garage into a bedroom. Because their house was beside their home church, they would invite me every Sunday to attend services. I resisted at first. I even threatened to beat up the pastor or anyone else who would pray over me. I felt so uncomfortable because they would call me Brother Ivan. But slowly, the Sunday messages began touching my heart and I found myself sitting in the very front seats. I was still cautious. I felt it was a setup because the messages would always be connected to my situation.
One Sunday, the pastor preached about forgiveness even when others have hurt you. Suddenly, he pointed his finger at me and shouted, “Is that correct, Ivan?!” How could he know about me, when he was just a visiting pastor and did not know anyone?
The following Sunday was his last sermon, and in the middle of his preaching, the pastor pulled me aside and told me that he wanted me to receive Christ before the service was over. I began crying uncontrollably to God. It was my first time to cry out to Him, and that Sunday I received Christ in my life.
My life was renewed! I declared God as my Lord and Savior. I felt not only his love for me, but also his mercy. I felt ashamed because despite who I was, He was there to accept me and love me. There was a big celebration that day in our church.
I felt led by God to come home in April 2006, with assurance from Deuteronomy 31:6, that God will never leave me nor forsake me; and Psalm 118:6,7 — “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Although I was already a Christian, I was still afraid of what was going to happen to me. But deep inside, I was willing to accept the consequences because I had faith that God was in control.
Amazingly, things fell into place. I did not have to do anything. When people heard that I was back, I was overwhelmed with offers of help. I was able to make peace with old friends and those who wanted me dead, one-by-one. People tried to convince me to try and retrieve the assets that were taken from me, but these were no longer important to me.
God has given me something far better — His overflowing love and a new life with a purpose, out of darkness. As I live my life for Him, He has given me love, peace, unspeakable joy, and security that can never be matched by any amount of money.
I thank the Lord for renewing my heart. If only I could ask forgiveness from all those whom I hurt. God has given me a loving heart, and I have only the utmost respect for everyone, especially women, friends, my family, and of course, pastors.
By God’s amazing grace, I have been with CCF from the very first Sunday since I came home. I am now leading a D-Group, part of a D12, and now with the GLC program. The things that were taken away are now slowly returning. I am back in my old business and operating at an even bigger scale. I asked God for a small condo unit and last year was able to buy one with a little extra for renovation. I was able to buy a new car. I am almost done with my first pledge for the Building Fund and will definitely make more pledges. I am engaged to be married this December. I cannot ask for more.
Truly, God is just amazing! Amazing! It’s not about me anymore; it’s all about him. I now live my life for God. My strength and hope is in Him. I am here to serve and be a committed follower. I will do my very best to bring glory to His name and to His kingdom. To my God be all the Glory!