PAdo-10
PARENTING ADOLESCENTS
Session 10
RESPONDING TO THE PURPOSES OF AN ADOLESCENT’S HEART
BIG IDEA
OWN UP! SHAPE UP!
Building godly conviction in our teens requires that "we train up our children in the way he should go."
Most adolescents are unaware that the direction their lives are taking is really up to him. We need to reveal to them that this direction they take is composed of a series of choices or decisions that they make.
What is our responsibility as parents to our adolescents?
Prov 11:6 – Teach our children to "think through" situations and make
decisions on their own – OWN UP.
Prov 22:4 – Direct their decision-making to Christ-likeness – SHAPE UP
Example: Jerome – A suspended, confirmed juvenile delinquent, locked up his own mother in the closet during a heated argument when she refused to bring him to a hobby shop. How would you have responded, if you were in that situation.
Let’s analyze
What is a parent to do?
Parents can call their teen toward a fruitful life when they help him get a taste of 2 things:
We need to teach our children to:
We must strengthen our teen’s sense of awareness and ownership of purposes for the things he does.
Prov 11:6 – Our kids are trapped into their foolish ways without knowing it.
As in Jerome bullying weaker people to provide him a sense of power or esteem, liberating him from the trap entails:
Jerome lived in a rural area, no friends of his age, no means of joining friends, no allowance, and no spare time, locked out of friends/classes because of poor grades.
Our ultimate goal: get adolescent to realize his own that his choices are
self-serving. He must own up to his actions.
Call him to choose purposes that are directed at serving Christ. Call him to shape up.
The benefits of choosing wise purposes:
Prov 3:34-35 – He gives grace to the humble. The wise inherits honor, but
fools he holds up to shame.
See Prov 22:4 vs. Prov 24:19
Prov 29:19 - Hardest task of all – must go beyond words.
Consequences can be NATURAL OR ENGINEERED.
Natural consequences occur as a direct result of behavior or choices. When a kid makes foolish choices and pursues foolish purposes, his parents would allow him to experience the natural consequences. The pain such consequences bring can be one primary thing God uses to get a kid to
re-evaluate and change the foolish strategies he uses to live by. These are excellent opportunities which parents must exploit to get more involvement with their teen, reflect on what he is experiencing, sharing with him the pain. Cause the teen to question, to evaluate when they are disillusioned with their own foolishness,
Sometimes consequences have to be engineered, amplified to ensure our adolescent is able to bridge the "cause and effect" relationtionship of his action and resulting consequences.
Example of Jerome getting a guided tour of city jail and being informed that accommodations have been arranged for him if his behavior does not change.
"Jerome, I brought you here today for one reason. I wanted to show you how much I love you. I love you so much that I am committed to doing whatever it takes to keep you from ever ending up in a place like this. Son, the way you have been going, this is exactly where you are going to end up. Because I am so committed to not let that happen, the next time you get abusive to anyone I will call the sergeant and make arrangements for you to be arrested. I want you to experience what kind of life you’re headed for. By the way, how you’ve been acting, that’s partially my fault, too. I’ve been failing you in some big ways as a Dad, But that’s going to change, too. I plan to be a whole lot more involved in your life. I hope we can work at being real friends again. Is there something you would want to say to me?"
What if it still does not work? Take heart – parenting will always be a struggle, but we have God’s promises to give us hope.
Col 1:28-29 – But we are to do it anyway the best we can.
1 Cor 3:6 – Realize God himself will cause the growth. Trust Him to make the
changes in your child’s life.
APPLICATION: