PAdo-01
PARENTING ADOLESCENTS SERIES
Session 1
HOW DO YOU RAISE A TEEN-AGER?
Take a minute to tell the rest of the group how you would finish these 4 sentences
What is one result you would like from a discussion series on parenting teen-agers? Or what is the one issue you would like to be addressed?
How do you raise a teen-ager? Does Scripture give us guidelines on how to raise a teen-ager?
(List parents answers on the board or a sheet of paper)
They want freedom
They depend or rely on their friends more.
They keep things to themselves.
They’re moody.
They don’t want to be hugged or kissed in public.
They don’t like to be told (re dressing up, fixing their rooms, hairstyles, and selection of friends).
They have a mind of their won.
They speak their minds out. Etc. etc. etc.
(List answers of parents)
(List possible answers).
Strict, obsolete.
Demanding or unreasonable, naggers.
Playing psychologists.
Unpredictable.
Inconsistent (do what I say, don’t do what I do).
Perfectionist, expects too much.
What happens as we deal with our teens? Why do we experience pain as we deal with them? Why?
SIN HAS MADE A MESS OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS
In the garden, God created man with perfect relationships.
Gen 2:20-24 – Initially, his relationship with his mate was perfect. They were
open, transparent, dependent on God. They had not developed
"layers" in their relationships to protect them from hurt, fear, etc.
Gen 3:1-7 – Sin came into the picture, and all human relationships were
doomed to fail. Fear was a result of sin.
Gen 3:12,16 – Man’s relationship with his wife is now corrupted.
Gen 4:3-8 – Jealousy festered into deeper sin
We all want life with our adolescents to be perfect. But sin makes this impossible. The mutual expectations from both parent and adolescent for meaningful relationships are now doomed to fail. Why? Because of our fallen natures, we experience pain from these failed relationships. However, it is this pain, when faced, that can be one of the best tools Christian parents can use for building a godly home environment for their kids.
Our goal for the series is to emerge as godly parents better equipped to "influence" our teens for Christ.
BIG IDEA
THE GOAL OF EFECTIVE PARENTING
IS TO BRING GLORY TO GOD BY BEING A GODLY PARENT.
BARRIERS TO GODLY PARENTING
Our effectivity in parenting our adolescent starts with "deepening our awareness of our own failures".
What keeps us from loving our kids and diagnosing the real problem in them and in ourselves?
Fear. Webster defines it as "apprehension of evil or danger, dread, anxiety."
As parents, what are the basic fears we have for our children?
In the Scriptures, we find that godly men and women, too, experienced fears – from circumstances, from man, of the unknown and of the future.
Prov 37: 8 - What happens when we allow these fears to control us?
Fretting leads to evildoing (NASB) harm (KJ)
Prov 2:5-6 – Who are we to fear? Only the Lord.
Why only the Lord? It is the Lord who gives you the wisdom,
knowledge and understanding you need to face the difficulties
in raising an adolescent today. He gives you the grace you
need to be a godly parent.
Prov 8:13 – The fear of the Lord keeps you from doing wrong.
Wrong – pride, arrogance, perverted and wicked speech –
all a manifestation of self-centeredness.
Jer 17:9 – Notice what fills our hearts – deceit
Do you think it would be wise to trust our own way of thinking
or our own hearts for the wisdom needed to raise our children?
Trusting in our "own way" will result in failure/disaster.
Jer 17:5 – Trusting in ourselves (man) results in fruitless life.
If our hearts are so full of deception and evil, we need a greater power to change us.
Rom 8:7 – How does God look at trusting in ourselves and our human
wisdom? It is hostility!
Rom 8:8 – Is it possible to please God in this condition? No.
WHAT DO I NEED TO BE A GODLY PARENT?
1. THE LORD, JESUS
Jer 17:7- What happens when we trust in the Lord instead?
Blessed means happy and satisfied.
John 15:4-5 – What principle does Christ teach us from this verse?
We are not able to do anything, including godly parenting,
without the power of Christ.
Only Christ can give us the kind of unconditional relationship we long for. Because he accepts us, we can now influence our children to be the kind of children God wants them to be.
2. HIS WORD, THE BIBLE
2 Tim 3:16 – What is "trusting in God and His Word" good for?
Teaching the truth, rebuking error, correcting faults and for
training in righteousness. As we study God’s Word, we will
realize how we fail to love our teens the way God wants us to. His Word will equip us to parent in a godly way.
2 Tim 3:17 – We will be equipped for every good work.
Ps 19:7-9,11 – Why do we use "God’s Word as our ultimate guide and
authority in parenting"? In keeping them, there is great
reward.
The Scriptures are the only reliable guide
in providing a basic model for understanding people
(which includes our adolescents)
and adequately explain why they function as they do.
The light of God’s Word will reveal to us what lies in the inner recesses of our hearts. God’s Word will lead us to the only true solution to changing the hearts of men – Jesus Christ.
As parents who have tasted the "goodness of God", how can we draw our children to the one who can truly satisfy their deepest needs? The answer lies in our very lives. We mirror God’s grace of unconditional love and acceptance in our lives as we graciously deal with our adolescents.
3. MY RESPONSE, OBEDIENCE
1 John 3:22 – What does God want us to do with His Word?
He expects us to keep his commandments.
What is the reward? We can ask what we want for our
children. This is a promise for us.
John 14:21 – What is proof that we love the Lord?
We abide by his commandments.
What is his promise? He listens our prayers.
As parents, the only thing we can really control is how we respond to our children.
We have no complete control over the kind of person our adolescents decide to be. We can only influence them to come to the Lord through the lives that we model for them. We can influence them to "want" the kind of life that only trusting in Christ can bring.
This kind of relationship gives them their best chance at developing their own relationships and dependence on Christ.
this session.
What is God’s promise when you do this?
Ps 31:19 – How great is Thy goodness which Thou has stored for those
who fear thee, which Thou has wrought for those who take
refuge in Thee.
Parents, take heart. There is hope!