BOLD LOVE
Session 3
WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR?
Discussion / Handout
BIG IDEA
BOLD LOVE MEANS BEING SILENCED,
THAT IS, FIRST SEEING MY SIN.
Review
Big Ideas – Session 1 - Sin blocks us from loving well. (Mark 7:21-23)
Session 2 – Bold love is staying engaged.
It is not withdrawing or attacking. (1 Peter 3:9,11)
Ask for experiences during the past week where they were either "boldly loved by someone" or they "boldly loved someone."
RUN TAPE
What 3 character traits did Dan point out in Buck? He was a:
Coward – fleeing from conflict
Mean – attacking the other when he is vulnerable
Hard – refusing to show that we hurt for someone
What must happen for bold love to effectively work? We need to be willing to be:
SILENCED
What does it mean to be silenced? How did his daughter silence Dan?
His secretary?
John 13:36-38 – How was Peter silenced by the Lord? Peter had no clue as to our
Lord’s reaction to his "seemingly" heroic gesture. Peter did not see himself as unrighteous in what he was doing.
God is involved in trapping us to expose what is really inside us.
Jesus knew what filled Peter’s heart. Jesus allowed Peter to be silenced to expose his sin. What was Peter’s sin? Pride, self-dependence.
Often, the most dangerous sins in ourselves
are the ones we cannot see, or refuse to see!
What did Jesus do? He showed Peter a taste of God’s character. Jesus opened Peter’s eyes to his sin and still showed him how much he was loved.
Matt 16:21-23- This is not the first time Peter displayed boastful pride.
Application: Think of time where you were silenced, when someone gave you feedback about yourself. How did you respond?
To be silenced is to see who you are in the light of "the effect" you have on another human being. And with that light to be able to see what you could be, but what you are not.
Isa 6:6 – Isaiah was silenced when God revealed Himself to him
His sin was exposed, "Woe is me, I am a man of unclean lips."
Dan also talks about being:
SURPRISED
John 17:15-17 - How was Peter surprised? He was silenced when Jesus exposed
his sin, but he was also surprised when the Lord continued to "remain engaged" in relationship with him. The Lord continued to love him.
We have continuously discussed and reminded ourselves of how Bold Love should reflect God’s character, goodness and mercy.
After 2 sessions, can anyone say how this is effected?
Answer should be: If done properly for the sake of the other, bold love can demonstrate the following:
Admittedly, all of the above are not easy and the last 3 points seem to be next to impossible for us to do in certain situations. However, this series is aimed at teaching us how to do these as agents of God to effect dramatic and lasting change in ourselves, as well as in others.
Final reminder:
Matt 7:1-6 – We must first remove the beam in our own eyes before
looking at the speck in someone else’s!
Remember that without the acknowledgement of sin, there will be no repentance. Without repentance, there can be no forgiveness. Without forgiveness, sin controls our being. And if sin controls our being, we cannot have good relationships. Our lives will be a mess! Sin will result in another sin, and another, and another (See Genesis account of Cain).
We need each other, with the help of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to bring out the cancer (sin) hidden in the deepest crevices of our hearts by boldly loving one another.
In each of the three incidents Dan had with his wife, daughter and secretary, what happened to Dan? "He" was boldly loved!
He needed to recognize his behavior as sin
major cause of the expenses in the his office.
He needed to see God’s forgiveness and acceptance through them.
How did Dan’s wife boldly love him? Daughter? Secretary?
However, if any of them moved towards him in anger or bitterness, the process would not have worked the way it did for him.