Allow me to tell you a little something about myself. I am Mikki, and my motto used to be, “If it feels good, do it.” I was a hedonist and a hypocrite, and I lived a very selfish life.
I got my first taste of sex, drugs, and alcohol in high school. I believed that these were the things a student should go through for him to say that high school life was the best.
I also had a big ego. I hung out with a popular circle of friends, played for the basketball varsity team, and dished out respectable grades.
But despite my achievements, I was insecure. I was doing it all to impress people and to get them to love me.
I entered the college of my choice, and my lifestyle became more excessive. I would be out almost every day, hanging out in malls and bars. My weekends were spent partying and drinking. At times, I would be so drunk that friends would have to drive my car and take me home.
I was the life of the party, but I was also part of the church choir. I thought that my service canceled out my party habits. I viewed myself to be above my buddies – I was doing something in church to compensate for my lifestyle, and they weren’t. I was better… or so I thought.
I spent more time out with my friends than at home, so my relationship with my family began to deteriorate. My mom told me that I treated the house like a dormitory; I went there just to eat and sleep.
Even if my grades had sunk to barely passing, I couldn’t care less. I thought I was having the time of my life.
Because I lost my virginity at an early age, I didn’t see sex as something special or sacred. I used my charm and sense of humor to flirt with and seduce women. I would walk in and out of relationships unsatisfied and wanting more.
I was so open-minded about trying everything. During one drinking party, I allowed a man to take advantage of me. Even though I was drunk that night, I cried myself to sleep with the images still fresh in my mind. I was broken.
I was looking for something that would satisfy me completely and permanently. I didn’t know that what I was looking for, only God could bring. The Bible says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.”*
I finally agreed to attend a Bible study that a friend had been inviting me to for two years. I’ve heard the parable of the prodigal son so many times before. But at that study, I really felt that God had written that story for me. I was the prodigal son.
Suddenly, I found myself surrounded by people who knew God: my friends, a girl I was interested in, and even my dermatologist. They were all committed to living the way God wants us to live. I was beginning to see who God is and how He is orchestrating events in my life. In June 2005, I asked Jesus to take control of my life and was rescued from being lost. I came to a personal knowledge of God through a real relationship with Him.
I immediately joined a church group. I overcame inhibitions and found that sharing my life with others has helped me to grow tremendously. God used my group to provide me wholesome alternatives to worldly endeavors. Instead of smoking, drinking, and cursing, I am now spending time in prayer and conversation with God. It is also with my group that I learned to have clean fun.
I also attended life-changing weekend programs that ignited in me the desire to serve God in church. In two years since I gave him my life, God has allowed me to co-lead bible studies at my university as well as the Thursday night meeting of the young singles. He has also empowered me, barely three months into my employment, to start weekly gatherings in my workplace. I am humbled, and I stand in awe of the God who has given me these opportunities.
As I learned more and more about who God is, I also began to see how and why our bodies should be kept pure. This body is not my own, but Christ’s. This body is not meant to give me the greatest pleasures, as the world believes, but to give God the greatest glory.
The Bible says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”** I no longer use my voice to serenade and woo women’s hearts, but to praise and worship the Lord. I no longer work out to display my body and impress women, but now I work out to keep myself healthy, so that I can actively serve God. I no longer desire to use this body for my own pleasure. God has given me the will and desire to constantly pursue purity.
God showed me that He is a God that restores life, just as He restored my life after being lost in the world. He showed me that nothing I do wrong is too terrible for Him to forgive.
He showed me love I did not earn, despite all I’ve done. He showed me His grace, power, and provision by using a flawed individual like me to teach, sing praises, and encourage others. With His offering of a new beginning, a clean slate, He showed me what it meant to be truly and spiritually alive.
*Psalm 34:8 (NIV)
**2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)
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