My life used to be centered on me — my happiness, my world. Because I was the youngest and the only boy in the family, I was spoiled, lived recklessly, and did everything on a whim. My high school life was a complete mess. I was branded a bad influence, but that only challenged me to live a more adventurous life. At 13, I was smoking, having premarital sex, and dating girls left and right. Everything just seemed cool.
By 17, my desire for more adventure got me into the crazy world of drugs, and I became heavily addicted. When I wasn’t using drugs, I was selling drugs just so I could support my own addiction. It was a perfect cycle! When the pill “ecstasy” was introduced, I got a good source that allowed me to sell thousands of pesos’ worth of these pills every weekend. Life could not have been any better!
But all that stopped when in February 2000, I was set up by the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA) and got busted! My world crumbled as I was brought to Camp Crame, blindfolded and in fear for my life.
In the days that followed my arrest, there was a media frenzy. PDEA reported to have caught the first and biggest drug dealer of ecstasy! My name was everywhere, and worse, my parents and family experienced deep shame and humiliation. That bothered me for a time, but because of family connections, instead of time in prison, I got away with seven months of rehab instead.
This suddenly made me feel untouchable. I found myself going back to using, selling, and buying drugs all over again. Although the authorities were keeping a close eye on me, they never suspected my involvement with drugs again. But it was not so with my family.
Because I was selling so much drugs, it became impossible for me to hide the money from them. My family would see me buy jewelry, car accessories, appliances, and clothes left and right. I soon developed another struggle: credit card fraud. I bought stuff here and there with money that wasn’t even mine! When they confronted me, I denied everything, but at that point, they did not believe me anymore. They tried everything to catch me but to no avail. They grounded me for a year, tested me for drugs every month, sent me to a psychiatrist, and even brought me back to rehab. But all that didn’t stop me.
One day, my dad invited me and my then-girlfriend to join a CCF retreat. This seemed okay with me because I enjoyed meeting new people and I considered it a getaway from Manila with my ex-girlfriend. Little did I know, that was when Jesus wanted to speak to my heart.
We were talking about the Father’s love at the retreat. Only then did I hear that the Lord loved me. No matter what I did in my life, He would still continue to love me. On that day, I opened my heart to Jesus and surrendered my life to Him! I wanted Him to fix my life and give me a brand new start.
When I got back from the retreat, I reflected on my addictions and lifestyle and first committed to give up my smoking, drinking, and drugs. That seemed fairly easy, but I found myself struggling with money issues. Money became my security. Even after claiming to have accepted God, I still could not totally give up selling drugs, for fear that I would run out of funds to support my desires. Money was my god, and that was the only thing stopping me from getting closer to Jesus.
JR today.
Through the faithful prayers of my family and continuous attendance in D-Group and Sunday services, slowly Jesus molded my heart and made me realize that my security should not be in money or in any material wealth, but in Him. One night, by faith, I surrendered my love for money by pledging to the building fund an amount twice that of my savings. I did not know how I would be able to come up with that amount after vowing to give up all my illegal transactions, but by God’s grace I gave 50% of my pledge to the building fund — really everything I had saved up.
For a year, I lived on my weekly allowance and survived easily on that. But as the end of the year approached, I got worried about the remaining 50% of my pledge. I did not know where I would get the funds to fulfill it. Then, in December, my sister allowed me to take charge of her food stall during a Christmas bazaar. Because of this, I was able to give the remaining 50% of my pledge!
Truly, the Lord is so faithful! He has taught me that if I completely depend on Him for my daily provisions, He will see me through. As I see Him providing for me daily, my worries about the future are less and less, and my life has become far happier and more worthy! I have learned to appreciate the small blessings in life, and I would not trade this life of daily dependence on Him for my worldly life before.
Right after college, I joined the real estate business. In less than a year, I was promoted and was blessed to become the sales champion of our company for 2008. In addition, the amount of money that I gave was returned times more than ten times over. My confidence and strength could only have come from God, and for this I am forever grateful! I experience that when you give more to the Lord, He will bless you more.
Today, I am a bold and faithful servant of the Lord! I am part of a D-Group and actively serving in the Singles ministry as well as the CCF Eastwood promotions ministry. The Lord has truly proven to be my only source of security.
When I decided to give my life to the Lord, only then did I experience and appreciate the real meaning of Life. Please pray for me as I continue to walk in the Lord, that I may be victorious over temptation and that I will continually serve him faithfully. To God be all the Glory!
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