Have you ever succeeded in something but it didn’t feel like success?
We’ve read numerous stories of lottery winners who ended up becoming more miserable after winning their millions. I know what you’re thinking coz I’m thinking of the same. If I was given millions I would manage it better and become a happy rich guy, right? But how sure are we that we’re going to fare better?
I had a schoolmate who won the heart of the campus crush only for him to dump her after two weeks. She turned down dozens of admirers but the one guy she said yes to ended up leaving her. She was devasted and the guy turned from being most envied to most hated in campus. When his close friends ask him why he broke up with the prettiest and nicest girl in school he simply said, “I can no longer take her bad breath!” (True story)
I have a relative who passed the entrance exams to all the top universities, including the difficult to enter ones, but failed the entrance exam to the only school she wanted to enroll in. She was miserable the next four years.
I met an Atenista who goes to UAAP games wearing a DLSU shirt and cheering for De La Salle because according to her she is really a La Sallian who ended up in Ateneo. Imagine the awkwardness during Blue vs Green games.
Have you ever bought a nice pair of shoes only for your feet to hurt after wearing them? Have you ever gotten a cool new gadget only for you to realize it wasn’t worth your money? Have you ever bought a car that costs a lot, looks like it costs a lot, but drives like any average vehicle? They call it buyer’s remorse. We work hard, save money, go for the most sought after things, and end up regretting that we’ve succeeded in acquiring them.
What about the more important and meaningful things in life like people and relationships? Well, how many single people do you know believe that they’ll be happier when they’re married? And how many happily married couples do you know?
Then there’s religion or spirituality, the supposed answer to all life’s questions and the epitome of success and fulfillment. Yet how many churchgoing people are fulfilled?
When success doesn’t feel like success it might even feel worse than failure because we expect the bad feelings of failure but not the misery of achieving what we wanted.
So what are we to do? Are we all destined to keep filling our pails only for it to leak away until we get tired of filling and we end up dry, miserable failures?
There is hope my friend and it starts with a right perspective of what success really is. If you can spare an hour each week for the next six weeks we’re going to discover how to set #Lifegoals that won’t become an Epic Fail nor an Efic Pail.
The author, Jonathan Fenix, often gets addressed as Jonathan Penix.
March 28, 2018
March 28, 2018